


The Rose

by elphiemolizbethbau



Series: Something Good [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:35:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23356309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elphiemolizbethbau/pseuds/elphiemolizbethbau
Summary: "Can I kiss you?" was definitely not a question she'd ever been asked before, but it was one she was looking forward to hearing for the rest of her life.One-Shot set in the universe of Something Good, exploring the events leading up to Olivia and Amanda's first kiss. It probably makes sense even if you haven't read that story. Set to The Rose by Bette Midler.
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Amanda Rollins
Series: Something Good [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747219
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	The Rose

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Something Good](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21989713) by [elphiemolizbethbau](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elphiemolizbethbau/pseuds/elphiemolizbethbau). 



> A/N: Hi guys. On Archive of Our Own, I got a request to write a one-shot based on the conversation Olivia and Amanda have in Something Good about their first kiss. This will make more sense if you’ve read that story, but it’s not totally necessary. Here’s a song fic set to The Rose by Bette Midler. Hope you like it, and let me know if anyone would like me to write more one-shots in the Something Good or the In the First Degree universes.  
> Stay safe out there, friends! If you’d like to connect via social media, my Instagram/twitter is @faceinbud.

The Rose

Amanda hadn’t had a first date in many years. She hadn’t had a first date that went this well ever, and as the SVU detective entered her home after the whirlwind of an experience, she couldn’t help but share a thousand-watt smile with the furniture inside her apartment. It was wonderfully strange to feel so nervous and yet so extraordinarily calm, so riled up, yet so incredibly peaceful. But that is what Olivia Benson made the blonde feel. When they had met, maybe not so much, but her senior detective had made a quick turn around once the two began to get to know each other, and by the time she was promoted to sergeant, Amanda was confidently referring to her as her best friend, if only in her own mind. They’d existed in something of a limbo for quite a while, their relationship being more significant than that of friends, but consciously less intimate than that of a couple. That didn’t mean that meaningful glances weren’t shared or that girls’ nights that ran into morning didn’t happen, and eventually, Olivia couldn’t take living in the in-between any longer.

The brunette had taken her to a fancy restaurant for dinner, the likes of which she had never seen in Atlanta. She wondered if that was because there just weren’t such high-class establishments in her hometown, or whether her lack of familiarity with such places had more to do with the fact that no one she’d dated had ever cared to take her to one. She quickly conceded to herself that the latter was probably true before reminding herself to be in the moment. 

After dinner, Olivia gently suggested that they go back to her place, a request Amanda had been on the receiving end of countless times at the hands of people with less honorable intentions. At the nervous barely-there smile the younger woman had offered her, the sergeant quickly placed a comforting hand on her elbow. “Just to talk,” Benson clarified gently, realizing what her friend (girlfriend?) had inferred. “And only if you want to.”

Remembering this moment, Amanda wanted to pinch herself. Of course Olivia would act like this, of course she’d be this considerate and respectful, but for some reason, she just couldn’t wrap her head around it. Could this be more than the best dream she’d ever had? In the past twenty-four hours, three things had happened that the detective just knew would alter the course of her life forever.

"Some say love, it is a river, that drowns the tender reed  
Some say love, it is a razor, that leaves your soul to bleed  
Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need  
I say love, it is a flower, and you, its only seed"

It started with the older woman’s loving response to a moderately unsuccessful attempt on the blonde’s part to respond like a human being when Olivia admitted that she had feelings for her, feelings that Amanda reciprocated whole-heartedly. The kind of feelings that made her heart skip a beat when she walked into a room. The kind of feelings that caused a warm churn to begin in her stomach when she smiled. The kind of feelings that made Amanda ask herself if maybe it was a mistake to swear off relationships after she’d left Atlanta, if maybe she could allow herself to risk all the things she was afraid of in order to experience love. What they had, was that love? That’s what this was, wasn’t it? Olivia had used the word love, and she’d seemed aware of the gravity of the term. Love, Amanda heard echoing on  
repeat in Liv’s angelic whisper, she’d said she loved her.

“I’m sorry, Liv. I’m just a little nervous.”

That was the first thing that Amanda could bring herself to say in response to Olivia’s earnest words, and it had taken far longer for the detective to produce them than she would have liked. She could tell Liv was confused by the response, especially as it wasn’t an explicit positive or negative reaction. “I didn’t mean to make you nervous,” the sergeant instinctively swore to the younger woman, stepping slightly away from her in case the close proximity had anything to do with Amanda’s trepidation. “We don’t have to have this conversation if you don’t want to.”

Amanda shook her head. At any other moment in her entire life, she would have taken the out and ran far, far away. No one had ever seemed to care what she wanted to do or what made her comfortable, and though this new feeling of being respected was disconcerting, it was also so very intriguing and much more than inviting. 

“No, I—I do. I do want to. I…” Amanda took a deep breath in before rushing her next words with an audible exhale, leading to the last of them coming out in a breathless hurry. “I feel the same way, Olivia. I have for a really long time. I was just scared to say something before.”

Olivia cautiously took Amanda’s hand in hers and led her to the couch in her living room, wanting the now shaking woman to have a safe place to sit comfortably. “It sounds like we’re on the same page,” Liv observed, smoothing her thumb over the back of the younger woman’s hand. “But we don’t have to do anything about it if you’re not ready, ‘Manda.”

"It's the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance  
It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance  
It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give  
And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live"

The next evening, Olivia had shown up to Amanda’s apartment with flowers, asking if she’d like to “grab some dinner.” Needless to say, the younger woman was gobsmacked when Liv pulled up to what was known as the most expensive restaurant in the area. This gesture was the second thing that had Amanda feeling worthy of care in such a short amount of time. It was during Olivia’s fourth reminder that she didn’t need to keep thanking her for such an extravagant date that Amanda finally started to believe that she was being serious.

After they’d arrived to Olivia’s apartment, the brunette offered Amanda a glass of water—water, not vodka—and then led her into the living area, allowing her to sit on the couch before taking the spot next to her. Their conversation was casual for some time, jokes being volleyed between them with an ease that felt impossibly natural. 

Eventually, Olivia sobered, slowly reaching to intertwine her fingers with Amanda’s, the blonde noting how secure and safe the touch felt. “Can I address the elephant in the room?” the older woman softly questioned.

Amanda gave a shy nod, knowing that Olivia must have struggled with waiting a full twenty-four hours before initiating this conversation. The brunette turned slightly more towards Amanda so that their knees were practically touching, clearing her throat before smiling in a soothing manner. “Starting a new relationship can be nerve-wracking for anyone,” she began slowly, “but I know for a survivor, it must be downright terrifying. I want you to know that what’s most important to me going forward is that you always, always, always feel safe with me. I have no expectations for what happens tonight or after tonight. We can move as slowly or as quickly into this relationship as you feel comfortable with. I just want the honor of being in your life, however that makes the most sense for you.”

“Thank you,” the detective murmured with almost no sound. “Thank you,” she repeated, squeezing Olivia’s hand before deciding to take the plunge and scoot even closer to Liv. “I want to feel close to you,” she assured, feeling more sure of herself than she’d realistically ever felt before. “We just might need to take things slow.”

A grin took over Olivia’s features, her nose crinkling up in contentment, in a new kind of joy. “Slow sounds perfect.” Liv met Amanda’s lean in, letting her forehead rest against her new girlfriend’s. “’Manda, I’m going to ask you something now,” Olivia explained, “and if your answer is no, then that’s what I want you to tell me, okay?” She let one hand come to tuck some stray hair behind the woman’s ear, waiting for a vigorous nod before replacing the blonde locks that used to lie on Amanda’s cheek with her own delicate fingers. Her words were delivered in a whisper, and the sergeant’s eyes watered with unfettered emotion. “Can I kiss you?”

"When the night has been too lonely, and the road has been too long  
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong  
Just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snows  
Lies the seed, that with the sun's love in the spring becomes the rose"

“Can I kiss you?” 

This was the last thing of the past day that had rocked Amanda’s world, and it was the most significant. Olivia had said the words with more sincerity than the blonde had ever witnessed in another human being, and then she waited. 

Olivia waited for a response. 

And when Amanda didn’t speak immediately, she waited some more. 

Eventually, the blonde realized that Liv wasn’t going to act until she said something, and it seemed as if she was willing to patiently wait for Amanda’s cue forever if that’s what she needed to do. 

Amanda swallowed hard. “Yes, of course,” she breathed.

Olivia furrowed her brow, letting her knuckles delicately caress one of the blonde’s flushed cheeks. “Are you sure, love?”

“Yes.” She felt her heart clench as Liv carefully brushed her nose against hers and their breath began to mingle together. Was this really happening? This was the slowest first kiss Amanda had ever experienced, and it hadn’t even started yet. Was Olivia still waiting for her to pull away? That had to be what she was doing, yet the sergeant seemed so absorbed in the moment, it couldn’t be possible. 

When Amanda failed to continue to move her face closer to Olivia’s, she was utterly shocked when the brunette also paused her movement, instead extending a light squeeze to her hand. Liv swallowed, allowing her nose to brush affectionately against the detective’s once more. “If you’re not ready—"

Amanda immediately brought her free hand up to tangle in Olivia’s hair. It was so soft, she noted. Olivia was so soft and so warm, and the blonde decided there was no way she was going to give up this opportunity. “I’m ready,” she swore before chuckling softly. “I’m just not used to leadin’.”

Olivia gave a slight nod, gingerly grasping on to Amanda’s chin with a thumb and a forefinger. “I’ll lead,” she gently proposed. “Is that what you want?”

“Please.”

When their lips finally connected, every inch of Amanda, from her heart to her fingertips, became engulfed in flames. Though Liv had offered to lead, all she had really done was initiate the contact. After that, she waited for Amanda to make the next move. When a few seconds had passed by, the blonde decided to pull away, not because she wanted the intimate touch to end, but because she wanted to change it.

The gratitude was overwhelming, and it was all Amanda could do to resist throwing herself into Olivia’s arms. She settled for a less dramatic—but just as enthusiastic—invitation for the two women to hold each other for a moment, clammy hands coming to grasp at the shirt Olivia wore. She felt Liv nuzzle her nose into her neck and smiled in response to the light peck she felt against her shoulder, the brunette simultaneously resting both hands on the detective’s back.

Olivia’s voice was soft as she rubbed wide circles over the fabric of Amanda’s blouse. “I really like the smell of your shampoo, by the way.”

“Oh, thank you.” Amanda smiled, breathing in the easiest breath of air she had inhaled in quite some time. “It’s rose.”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I hope you liked this quick one-shot! Let me know if you have any requests for one-shots in the universe of either of my SVU stories. Thank you for reading, and I’d love to read any reviews you feel like leaving for me!  
> -Gabby


End file.
